kimmymoss

Just another onMason weblog

Interstitial: REMINDER! New Maroon 5 album

Not sure if anyone else is obsesed with Maroon 5 like I am, but just a reminder that their new album, “Hands All Over,” is due to come out September 21.  That’s less than two weeks!

Just a little info on the album

Three Issues I Keep Having in My Writing

1. Stupidity issues.  (AKA not looking over work again before final submission)

I’m being serious here!  On one of the first quizzes we ever took, the correct answer was B –which I circled– and then wrote A on the answer line.  Oops…  On Quiz 17, I edited the article perfectly, except I misspelled “Gogh” of Theo van Gogh by writing “Goph.”  I know looking over writing before you submit it is not a DIRECT issue with my writing, but I certainly believe that in terms of getting points deducted from assignments in this class, this is surely one of the top issues to affect my grades with writing assignments.

2. Wordiness.

Example: Using wordy phrases such as “most simple stated” in the rough draft of my feature story project.

3.  Using past tense with radio writing.

Example: In homework for 4/8/10, I opened up my 9.1 radio writing assignment by saying “The morning Police Chief Clayton Wheat spoke at a press conference…” *note: past tense is bolded

4. Extra credit cockiness– speaking of which, I consider this an “extra credit” issue.

For example, after Jeopordy, I think I got a big head when it comes to receiving extra credit.  My group was convinced we would get all 6 points for the lead exercises we did in class Tuesday, when, in fact, we only got the first one… OOPS. Okay so I’m kind of kidding here– I think confidence in your writing is NECESSARY in order to write a good lead quickly.  I just got angry with myself for not maintaining a perfect extra credit record after Tuesday’s class and thought I would share. 🙁 haha

*additional note: I apologize for the wordiness in my description of #4… did you catch that?  I did it on purpose!

 

… Actually, not really. At least I noticed it though– by LOOKING OVER MY ASSIGNMENT BEFORE SUBMISSION — he, hem, #1… 🙂

5 Blogs that YMCA press release would target

Disclaimer before I begin: I am not experienced in viewing any blogs other than those that either my classmates or myself produce from onmason.com.  With that said, I really had to search hard to find blogs that I thought would be credible enough to target towards my press release for the YMCA about fall swimming lessons.

1. Blonde Mom Blog: http://blondemomblog.com/

Assuming mothers with children read this, and those mothers and looking for something for their children to do to stay active this fall, viewers of this blog wouuld probably be interested in signing their kids or themself up for swimming lessons at the YMCA this fall.

2. Mat’s Swimming Blog: http://swimming.about.com/b/

Here, a blog about swimming would probably include adults with children who need swimming lessons.

3. D.C. Sports Bog Blog, by Dan Steinberg of the Washington Post: http://voices.washingtonpost.com/dcsportsbog/

Assuming this news release would correspond to YMCAs in the Washington Metropolitan area, one of the biggest sports blogs in the area might attract interest in swimming lessons from adults with active children.

4.  DCBlogs: http://dcblogs.com/

Again, playing on proximity of D.C. adults to a YMCA in or nearby D.C., this blog would be a good idea to target.

5. South Riding, VA Real Estate Blog: http://south-riding.blogspot.com/

This blog would be benefitical to target the YMCA press release towards because as my hometown, a very family-oriented community, adults looking to buy a new home for their family are probably also interested in activities available nearby the community, such as swimming lessons.

Other note: Just being honest, this exercise was hard for me.  That might have to do with the fact that I have a mild concussion from my soccer game last Friday, but still… how does one successfully find credible blogs?

Radio News Story

First off– I had planned to cover a story that my dad did on WTOP, since he’s one of the morning anchors there from 5 to 10 a.m. every weekday, but unfortunately, I didn’t really get to a radio in time for that this morning.  So I decided to go to wtopnews.com and go into the archives of audio clips to find a story I could use for this assignment.

I came across a story by Kristi King titled “April’s Hot Weather.”  Since I ran in the 90 degree heat this afternoon, it seemed the perfect topic for me to choose. It can be found here: http://wtopnews.com/?sid=628055&nid=524 

How it was told on the radio: King blended sound from a diner, presumably cooking scrambled eggs, to highlight how hot it was outside, while delivering a brief report on the hot April weather.  She also incorporated quotes from people about the weather, including those with positive and negative attitudes toward it. 

Aspects of aural writing I heard: Kept sentences short, emphasized the immediate and used creative attention getter (so hot eggs could burn outside). 

How it was different from how a print journalist would have written the story: It was very short and brief, and didn’t go into great depth.  It had sound from interviewees, which obviously a print journalist would not have been able to do.  Also, a print journalist would probably not have drawn a connection from the weather being so hot that you could scramble eggs outside.  But in radio, it’s catchy and interesting.

WEB PACKAGE

Here is a web package I came across under the Sports section of washingtonpost.com:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/03/31/AR2010033103635.html 

This web package focuses on a story about the Washington Capitals and their prospects for being successful in the playoffs with their recent downturn in play.

Elements of the package include:   

  • -Video with the Post’s Capitals beat reporter Tarik El-Bashir talking about the remaining six games in the Caps’ season
  • -A Q&A opportunity with the Post’s Thomas Boswell to answer questions about the Caps http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/discussion/2010/03/31/DI2010033102857.html?sid=ST2010033103995 
  • – A web forum that allows for any comments to be posted
  • – Links to the article from bloggers
  • – List of stories “you might also like”
  • – A section that helps you share the article via Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, myspace, NewsTrust, and other social networks
  • – Lots of advertisements… wait, those aren’t lateral journalism… at least I don’t think…

What I liked about this web package was that it focused the pager’s attention on the article and video more than anything else.  In this sense, all the other elements of the package were not a distraction at all to someone who is just looking to read an article on the Caps and maybe view some footage quickly.  On the other hand, for those looking to take in or interact more with the article, there seems to be a good variety of other things to explore.  The only catch is that it’s a little more difficult to see the links to social networking sites, bloggers covering the article, and comments sections.  Then again, if you’re looking for them, you’ll certainly find them.

What I never would have clicked on if I wasn’t doing this for an assignment…

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/discussion/2010/03/31/DI2010033102857.html?sid=ST2010033103995 

Sorry Boswell, but I don’t have time for you.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/03/31/AR2010033103635_Comments.html 

The comments section is something I’d only go to if I were actually INTERESTED in hockey.   Too bad I’m not!

https://secure.delicious.com/login?noui=yes&v=4&partner=wpni&jump=http%3A%2F%2Fdelicious.com%2Fsave%3Furl%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.washingtonpost.com%252Fwp-dyn%252Fcontent%252Farticle%252F2010%252F03%252F31%252FAR2010033103635.html%253Freferrer%253Ddelicious%26title%3D%2522Caps%2520try%2520to%2520steer%2520out%2520of%2520their%2520rut%253A%2520Despite%2520slow%2520starts%252C%2520team%2520insists%2520it%2527s%2520still%2520motivated%2520as%2520postseason%2520approaches%2522%2520By%2520Gene%2520Wang%26notes%3DThe%2520Washington%2520Capitals%2520say%2520they%2520haven%2527t%2520lost%2520any%2520motivation%2520despite%2520their%2520commanding%2520lead%2520in%2520the%2520playoff%2520race%252C%2520even%2520as%2520they%2520are%2520mired%2520in%2520a%2520three-game%2520losing%2520streak.%26tags%3D%26v%3D4%26noui%3D%26share%3Dyes%26jump%3Dclose%26time%3D1270097066%26recipients%3D%26partner%3Dw

What is del.icio.us?  A social networking site apparently?  Long story short, I would never want to share information on it.  Especially not about hockey.  I’ve got sleep to catch up on and 7-mile runs to attend to!

Follow-up questions to Exam Lead

Five questions a reader might want have and want answered after reading the lead and second graf:

  1. Was Moss injured?  If so, how severely?
  2. Were there any witnesses?
  3. What was Moss doing outside the McDonald’s?
  4. What time did the incident occur?
  5. Is Moss shaken up by the incident?

Exam Lead Revision

An elderly woman defended herself from an attempted robbery at gunpoint outside McDonald’s at 3951 Pickett Road Wednesday, according to Fairfax Police.

According to Fairfax Police Sgt. D’Andre Shields, 83-year-old Delia Moss scared off two robbers when she swung her vintage Chanel handbag at the hand of the robber holding her at gunpoint, knocking the gun into the bushes.  Police have already arrested one suspect, Josh Auerbach, 40, of Annandale.  The second suspect, however, remains at large. 

5.10 Writing News Stories 4 REVISION

Early Sunday morning three students from the Alpha Beta Zeta fraternity were admitted to a local hospital due to alcohol poisoning.

Jan Mize of University’s public relations said that Press Martin, of  Shethar, NH, Al Amalek, of Nashville, TN and local resident Rob Smith were diagnosed as having alcohol poisoning after having been at a party at the ABZ house Saturday evening.  While Martin and Smith were released from the hospital Monday morning, Amalek still remains and is listed in critical condition.

In a statement from the university, the ABZ fraternity is being suspended as well as all of its activities on campus.  At this time, the length of the suspension has not been determined.

The suspension is based on University president Harvey Smithville’s restating of a policy banning alcohol from fraternity houses located on campus property or within campus environments two weeks ago.

According to Smithville, any fraternity with members possessing alcohol will immediately be suspended.  Additionally, a second offense within a year will result in a 5-year ban of that fraternity.

 “We wholeheartedly agree with President Smithville that alcohol has no place at fraternity parties,” said Bart Addison, Interfraternity Council president in response. 

“I believed that everyone was adhering to the university’s policy.  However, I do not believe that the entire fraternity should be held responsible for the actions of a few.”

At this time, Addison plans to ask Smithville to reconsider his suspension of the ABZs.

Skier Vonn Crashes Out Of Olympic Slalom

Call me overly sensitive, but the term “crashes out” comes across as unecessarily insensitive.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=124117657&ft=1&f=1055 

After reading this short AP article about American skier Lindsey Vonn, I felt like the media was trying to make her feel bad for a simple mistake in what must be an incredibly difficult and stressful event she was competing in, the women’s slalom.

Maybe I feel badly for her because I know she has been plagued with injuries.

Maybe I feel badly for her because as an athlete myself, and I KNOW that no matter how hard you try sometimes, you mess up, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

But above all, MAYBE I feel badly for her because she is an American olympian, and that, in and of itself, is enough.

I’m not asking American journalists to glammorize any sporting event that isn’t worthy of it.  But for whatever reason, I’m really fired up by the fact that her missed opportunity to medal in the slalom was reported on in such an insensitive manner.

I mean let’s be honest, the article isn’t really THAT critical of Vonn.  It more or less give a straight-news story of what happened to her.  But all in all, the term “crashes out” just does not seem necessary in my opinion.  I could feel that way because as an athlete myself, I have empathy for the failures of other athletes.  Then again I could feel that way just because I’m a girl and we tend to get worked up over nothing.  Who knows?

Exercise 5.10 Writing News Stories 4

Early Sunday morning three students from the Alpha Beta Zeta fraternity were admitted to a local hospital allegedly due to alcohol poisoning, according to Jan Mize of University’s public relations.

Mize said that Press Martin, of  Shethar, NH, Al Amalek, of Nashville, TN and local resident Rob Smith were diagnosed as having alcohol poisoning after having been at a party at the ABZ house Saturday evening.  While Martin and Smith were released from the hospital Monday morning, Amalek still remains and is listed in critical condition.

In a statement from the university, the ABZ fraternity is being suspended as well as all of its activities on campus.  At this time, the length of the suspension has not been determined.

The suspension is based on University president Harvey Smithville’s restating of a policy banning alcohol from fraternity houses located on campus property or within campus environments two weeks ago.

According to Smithville, “Any fraternity in which the members have alcohol will be immediately suspended.  A second offense within a year will result in the banning of that fraternity for five years.”

 “We wholeheartedly agree with President Smithville that alcohol has no place at fraternity parties,” said Bart Addison, Interfraternity Council president in response.  “I believed that everyone was adhering to the university’s policy.  However, I do not believe that the entire fraternity should be held responsible for the actions of a few.”

At this time, Addison plans to ask Smithville to reconsider his suspension of the ABZs.