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Archive for February, 2010


5.10 Writing News Stories 4 REVISION

Early Sunday morning three students from the Alpha Beta Zeta fraternity were admitted to a local hospital due to alcohol poisoning.

Jan Mize of University’s public relations said that Press Martin, of  Shethar, NH, Al Amalek, of Nashville, TN and local resident Rob Smith were diagnosed as having alcohol poisoning after having been at a party at the ABZ house Saturday evening.  While Martin and Smith were released from the hospital Monday morning, Amalek still remains and is listed in critical condition.

In a statement from the university, the ABZ fraternity is being suspended as well as all of its activities on campus.  At this time, the length of the suspension has not been determined.

The suspension is based on University president Harvey Smithville’s restating of a policy banning alcohol from fraternity houses located on campus property or within campus environments two weeks ago.

According to Smithville, any fraternity with members possessing alcohol will immediately be suspended.  Additionally, a second offense within a year will result in a 5-year ban of that fraternity.

 “We wholeheartedly agree with President Smithville that alcohol has no place at fraternity parties,” said Bart Addison, Interfraternity Council president in response. 

“I believed that everyone was adhering to the university’s policy.  However, I do not believe that the entire fraternity should be held responsible for the actions of a few.”

At this time, Addison plans to ask Smithville to reconsider his suspension of the ABZs.

Skier Vonn Crashes Out Of Olympic Slalom

Call me overly sensitive, but the term “crashes out” comes across as unecessarily insensitive.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=124117657&ft=1&f=1055 

After reading this short AP article about American skier Lindsey Vonn, I felt like the media was trying to make her feel bad for a simple mistake in what must be an incredibly difficult and stressful event she was competing in, the women’s slalom.

Maybe I feel badly for her because I know she has been plagued with injuries.

Maybe I feel badly for her because as an athlete myself, and I KNOW that no matter how hard you try sometimes, you mess up, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

But above all, MAYBE I feel badly for her because she is an American olympian, and that, in and of itself, is enough.

I’m not asking American journalists to glammorize any sporting event that isn’t worthy of it.  But for whatever reason, I’m really fired up by the fact that her missed opportunity to medal in the slalom was reported on in such an insensitive manner.

I mean let’s be honest, the article isn’t really THAT critical of Vonn.  It more or less give a straight-news story of what happened to her.  But all in all, the term “crashes out” just does not seem necessary in my opinion.  I could feel that way because as an athlete myself, I have empathy for the failures of other athletes.  Then again I could feel that way just because I’m a girl and we tend to get worked up over nothing.  Who knows?

Exercise 5.10 Writing News Stories 4

Early Sunday morning three students from the Alpha Beta Zeta fraternity were admitted to a local hospital allegedly due to alcohol poisoning, according to Jan Mize of University’s public relations.

Mize said that Press Martin, of  Shethar, NH, Al Amalek, of Nashville, TN and local resident Rob Smith were diagnosed as having alcohol poisoning after having been at a party at the ABZ house Saturday evening.  While Martin and Smith were released from the hospital Monday morning, Amalek still remains and is listed in critical condition.

In a statement from the university, the ABZ fraternity is being suspended as well as all of its activities on campus.  At this time, the length of the suspension has not been determined.

The suspension is based on University president Harvey Smithville’s restating of a policy banning alcohol from fraternity houses located on campus property or within campus environments two weeks ago.

According to Smithville, “Any fraternity in which the members have alcohol will be immediately suspended.  A second offense within a year will result in the banning of that fraternity for five years.”

 “We wholeheartedly agree with President Smithville that alcohol has no place at fraternity parties,” said Bart Addison, Interfraternity Council president in response.  “I believed that everyone was adhering to the university’s policy.  However, I do not believe that the entire fraternity should be held responsible for the actions of a few.”

At this time, Addison plans to ask Smithville to reconsider his suspension of the ABZs.

Leads

Straight-news lead: A woman died Sunday after being hit by a tire from a crashing dragster at the NHRA Arizona Nationals.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/02/21/AR2010022104359.html

Anecdotal lead: Before this past week, Bode Miller‘s reputation and legacy seemed to be all wrapped up in what was missing. Fairly or not, the wide-angle view of Miller was dominated by one 13-day span in 2006, a span in which Miller’s talent dictated that he could win as many as five Olympic medals but his attitude yielded zero.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/02/21/AR2010022104137.html 

Blind lead: A federal judge on Monday morning approved a $150 million settlement between the Securities and Exchange Commission and Bank of America on narrow legal grounds, but derided the regulator’s decision to settle with the bank over allegations it lied to investors as “half-baked justice.”

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/02/22/AR2010022202062.html?hpid=topnews

Bad lead: Government data show that the federal Energy Star program, whose familiar logo adorns products from light bulbs to furnaces, can work a bit like Garrison Keillor’s fictional Lake Wobegon, Minn.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/02/21/AR2010022103688.html?hpid=topnews 

In my opinion, this was a bad lead because I did not understand the writer’s reference to Lake Wobegon, Minn.  Of course, in the second paragraph, the writer clarifies the lead by stating that “In Lake Wobegon, every child is above average.  Under the Energy Star program, the same can be said of appliances.”

Considering the second paragraph, the lead obviously makes sense.  However for me personally, the inability to understand the lead’s reference to a fictional place that I am not familiar with made me want to stop reading immediately.

Exercise 5.5 Leads and Second Paragraphs 2

This mini story corresponds to the information from “PROTEST.”

A group of citizens are enraged that Laura Cliff’s University biology class is being taught evolution.

“We believe that the teaching of evolution is against the principles of this Christian country, and we want to put a stop to it,” said Wilbur Straking, pastor of the Ever-Faithful Church of the Living Water.  Straking plans to lead a group of 25 dedicated Christians to the state capital next Monday to speak with legistlators about the problem.

American Bode Miller wins gold in men’s super combined event at Vancouver Olympics

I came across an article in the Washington Post about U.S. Olympic skier Bode Miller that I really enjoyed.  http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/02/21/AR2010022104137.html?hpid=artslot 

What I liked so much about this article was that I thought the writer did an excellent job of showcasing the turnaround of Miller’s attitude, and the positive results that have come as a result.

I think it’s easy for sports writers in particular to get caught up in the history of athletes and if they have one bad incident at any point in their career, they are continually punished for it.  But with this article, I thought the writer did an excellent job of illuminating Miller’s great turnaround. 

In doing so, it is clear that the media has a huge influence on how they shape the public’s perception of any given celebrity or athlete.

Exercise 4.7 Paraphrasing

Quotation 2

Marilyn Wall, president of the Walls Tire Co., expressed satisfaction with the company her year.  Orders are up 20 percent over last year, many employees that were layed off have been recalled, and about 20 new jobs have been added to their work force.

Quotation 3

Marsha Moss, director of the local symphony orchestra said that the response of the audience to last night’s concert was particularly gratifying.  She was very happy to feel so appreciated for the hours of work the orchestra had put into the concert.

Quotation 5

Anita Keller, president of the local chapter of Mothers Against Drunk Driving said that for months MADD has tried to point out to state legistlators that the laws of drunk driving in this state are too lenient.   She expressed frustration that their message has not gotten through yet and alleged it was influence from the alcohol industry.

Quotation 6 

Laura Stewart, president of Stewart Advertising Agency, said that the business climate in this city is very healthy.  Her agency has increased its gross revenues over 20 percent from last year, for the third time.  Business looks good for the local economy, even though as much as 25 percent of it is from out-of-town clients.

Description

Photo courtesy of Flickr user Seattle Miles.

This picture captures the image of a nearly frozen seashore.  The sky is dark and cloudy, and the shore appears to be very misty.  There is a strong contrast between light and dark as the abnormally shaped rocks pop out against the frosted sea in a way that unavoidably draws your eyes to them.

There are many footprints on this shoreline.  They are accentuated by the fact that the sand has a light dusting of snow right up to the edge of where the tide runs out.

The water is perfectly still in a way that is both eery and peaceful at the same time.  Even though though the many footprints on the shoreline suggest that many people have looked out upon the water this morning, the entire ocean remains untouched, barren, and cold.

Less-than-stellar remake ‘We Are the World’ debuts at Olympics in Vancouver

I came across this article today and found it to be pretty interesting: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/02/12/AR2010021205518.html.

I say interesting because I wonder why something so seemingly unsubstantial such as a remake of a popular song can make a story in the Post.

Honestly, I understand the argument made by the author that the song was rather oversung, but seriously?  At the end of the day, are readers REALLY that interested in how the 25th anniversary version of “We Are the World” has changed from its original?

Sometimes I think the media gets a little in over its head when it goes after stories like this.  Sure, it’s great to spark debate.  When it comes to reporting on the Opening Ceremonies of the winter Olympics in Vancouver this year, though, is criticizing “We Are the World” really the most interesting thing the media can come up with to report on?

I think not.

3.11 Using the Stylebook 9

1. The United States comprises 50 states.

2. A.D. 33

3. Czar

4. QE2

5.  court-martials is incorrect

6. International Association of Machinists and Aerospace Workers

7.  In first reference, the term should be written Naval Reserve Officer Training Corps.  On all references after, NROTC may be used.

8. liberal

9.  pour

10. Atlanta, Ga.